i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
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You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I got inside last night via doggy door
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We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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