I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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