Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
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Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
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I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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