Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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