worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
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I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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