you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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