This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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