Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
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I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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