If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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