our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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