Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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