I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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