We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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