a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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