i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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