I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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