A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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