....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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