We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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