Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize