He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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