Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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