I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize