Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
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he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
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when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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