do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize