We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
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I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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