I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize