he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
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I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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