Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize