is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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