my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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