I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
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He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
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I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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