About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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