saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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