could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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