he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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