I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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