We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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