I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Randomize