she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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