apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize