Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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