Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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