everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize