She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
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We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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