My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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