If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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