She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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