He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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