There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Im part way to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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